Behind Closed Doors
by batistaangel15
Summary: Travelling with the Doctor and Rose, as Donna has come to realize, can lead to her stumbling onto them in the middle of…certain activities.


**Wrote this in about two hours after waking up, the idea wouldn't leave me. While this is set in the SA 'verse, specifically after Planet of the Ood, this could be read as a standalone story. The things Donna has to deal with our favorite couple.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

If there was one thing that made Donna Noble smile while she travelled on the TARDIS, just as much as seeing the stars and the various universes in existence in all of time and space, it was seeing the Doctor and Rose acting like their giddy selves.

She recalled when she had first met the couple Christmas day when her marriage and day had become an utter disaster, a day she'd rather not reminisce on, but during her first encounter with the two she noticed a certain sadness lurking behind their smiles. At the time she had no idea of what was going on in their lives but after some time they had opened up and told her a few stories about what they dealt in the past, things that explained those looks and why they had appeared older. Her heart went out to both of them. They had been through so much since that Christmas, and they were always making sure to make up for the time they lost over a year ago.

For the first couple of weeks since she ran into them again while they were investigating at Adipose Industries she noticed exactly how unabashed the two were when it came to showing how much they loved each other, even when in the presence of others. It never bothered her or anything, they deserved to be happy. They were married and in love. Sickeningly, she might point out. One could easily gag at the looks they gave each other. Every time she walked in on them, whether they were in the console room or in the media room, they would always be staring these long looks at each other, as if they were undressing the other's clothes.

Turned out that they were telepathic so it was no wonder why they always appeared like they were shagging each other with their eyes. God only knew what type of freaky mind things they did with each other when no one else was around. But since she's been around on the TARDIS she's stumbled onto them in some other situations.

She couldn't keep track at how many times she had seen them taking each other's hands and run deep into the bowels of the ship for their private moments, as they should. Donna would just remain in the media room and catch a flick or take some lips in her room or even find a good book in the library to pass the time until the next adventure. It never bothered her, she was perfectly content with that. It always beat her dull life back on Earth. Whenever she would bump into them after their…activities…they would always have the stupidest grins on their faces—Rose looking love-struck and in a daze while the Doctor looked like he was given the biggest banana bunch in the universe.

After moments like that the two would continue to flirt with one another, anything to stir up yet another bedtime privilege between them which seemed to be done with much of a conscious effort on their parts. Donna never minded. As long as they kept their personal affairs to themselves then they could have shagged on the moon for all she could care, just so long as they never revealed any specific details. She couldn't stop a married couple from sharing their love for each other, why would she ever want to do something like that? Especially to two of her dearest friends.

She had walked in on them a number of times, mostly quietly so not to bother them, snogging like it was the end of the universe. Not just in _one_ part of the TARDIS, it was almost _everywhere_ —in the console room while seated on the captain's chair, in the galley while a kettle of tea was on that whistled and didn't even phase them until she got their attention, and even in numerous levels of the library to which led to certain books falling to the ground with heavy thuds.

As if those weren't enough she couldn't count on her hands how many times she caught them in states of being nearly-undressed, and that was when she had enough of it. She couldn't stop them from their antics but there needed to be a line crossed when other people were aboard their ship.

One day the TARDIS supplied Donna with a red water pistol filled with water to keep with her. How the ship put up with the couple shagging all over the place was just as much of a mystery than the ship Herself. But Donna took the device and hid it in her jacket. She was planning to go to the galley to grab something quick to eat while she watched a film and she was taking precautionary measures. She had made it about three feet from the door and that was close enough to hear suspicious noises coming from behind it. She rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

Those randy aliens—or mostly human for Rose's case, but she was still pretty alien—never knew when to keep it in their trousers. The blonde had more control than her husband did but when within an arm's reach of each other they would start going at it worse than rabbits.

Donna took out her water pistol and kept it firmly in her hand. The door slowly crept open on its own and she braced herself for what was going on in that room. All she wanted was to go in and grab an apple or something else small and leave. But if they were up to their usual amatory ways she wasn't holding back from spraying them off each other. Sure enough the moment Donna took a quick peek to see what was going on in the galley—the room where they _ate breakfast_ and _dinner_ and other meals—she saw a small pile of clothes in the corner. The Doctor's suit jacket and dark blue Oxford, and Rose's jumper lay crumpled, forgotten without care.

That was more than she needed to see but then she noticed Rose was seated on the countertop with her legs wrapped around the Doctor's waist while they devoured each other's faces off. His hands were running up underneath her camisole while hers were fisting his t-shirt…until they moved down his trousers.

It was then Donna raised her water pistol and sprayed a few long streams of water.

The Doctor and Rose both let out squeaks, the former's sounding very unmanly as they jumped at the sudden light hose down. They turned around with widened eyes and reddened faces. "Donna!" they cried in unison.

"God, you two!" Donna chastised. "Don't you ever have any off switches?"

"What are you even _doing_ here?" the Doctor asked, his voice still a pitch too high as he pulled back. Rose quickly slid off of the counter and readjusted her top, both abashed.

"I live here!"

His brows creased when he noticed the object she was holding. "Where'd you get a water pistol?"

"In the galley?" Donna said indignantly, evading his questions. "You two were trying to shag in the galley? Where we all _eat_?!"

"We're so sorry," Rose told her. "We were just…caught up in other things."

"Look, I know you two are married and can't keep your hands off each other for one bloody second, but keep all that in private where no one can stumble onto you like this!"

"You were in the media room!" the Doctor belly-ached.

"And you were in the console room fixin' things up!" the ginger woman retorted. "That was all Time Lord code for doing it, wasn't it? The only thing 'up' was—"

"Donna!"

"Just keep your shagging behind closed doors!"

"The door _was_ closed!"

"Not when I came to it, it wasn't."

The Doctor looked taken aback and frowned. "What? How? The only way it could have opened was if—" His eyes nearly popped out of his skull before he raised them to the ceiling, an annoyed and fiery look on his face. He muttered something in his native language, the blush on his face never easing up.

"I don't care how much you do this," Donna said. "I understand you're married and ridiculously in love with each other and that this is your home. You can snog and shag all you want, just don't make me or others have to see it. More so the _shagging,_ my God."

"We're really sorry," Rose said. "I promise we'll keep everything under control so this doesn't happen again." She patted the Doctor's chest. "At least keep _him_ under control."

Donna gave a lopsided smirk. "Don't make promises you can't keep," she said. "When it comes to both of you it's not hard to see that even _you_ won't abide by that so well, Rose."

The blonde bit her lip and ducked her head down, still embarrassed. The Doctor buried his face in his hands before scrubbing them down and scratching his cheek sheepishly.

"Listen, you've got your room," the redhead continued. "I know this is your home, but what happened to your bed? You told me you both sleep in it. What, did you _break_ it?"

The couple exchanged a quick glance. "Kinda personal innit?" the Doctor inquired.

Donna's mouth fell open. "You and your wife wanna shag on _every_ open surface! I know you both love to get it all out of your system and keep at it, but at least do it privately where no one can see you. And especially _not_ in a room where we _eat_ _food_! Blimey, I hope everything can be refurbished!"

"We'll take care of everything," Rose assured as she picked up their disheveled pile of clothes from the ground.

"Sorry, Donna," the Doctor said. "We-we just…sorry about all of this."

"I expect these things to happen on a daily basis from the minute I step out of my room," Donna said. "Just not…so much in so little time." She pulled a face. "And definitely not in the galley. Should I still be concerned about touching every other doorknob or piece of furniture in here?"

"Of course not," the Time Lord replied without hesitation. He puffed his cheeks out and blew out a breath, still trying to recover from his and his wife's libidinous gaffe.

Only about two hours after the two behaved themselves and Donna went back to the media room she left after her film was over to head off to bed. She walked by the library door and heard noises again. Water noises. The pool was being occupied by the randy couple. She felt prompted to tell them to keep it down but she refrained. At least they were in the pool and more private than their earlier attempts. She couldn't yell at them too much for being in love with each other as only a husband and wife could be.

But when she sat on the library couch with a book in her lap a few days later she heard heavy thumping coming from one of the upper levels. She had thought it was some thick volumes that had slipped off the shelf but that thought was discarded immediately once she heard faint moaning coming from above.

It was then that the TARDIS supplied her with a super soaker.


End file.
